_Quotes

Osgood: I called Mama. She was so happy she cried! She wants you to have her wedding gown. It's white lace. Daphne: Yeah, Osgood. I can't get married in your mother's dress. Ha ha. That-she and I, we are not built the same way. Osgood: We can have it altered. Daphne: Oh no you don't! Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all. Osgood: Why not? Daphne: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde. Osgood: Doesn't matter. Daphne: I smoke! I smoke all the time! Osgood: I don't care. Daphne: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a saxophone player. Osgood: I forgive you. Daphne: [Tragically] I can never have children! Osgood: We can adopt some. Daphne/Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood! [Whips off his wig, exasperated, and changes to a manly voice.] Uhhh, I'm a man! Osgood: [Looks at him then turns back, unperturbed] Well, nobody's perfect! - Joe E. Brown as...